Mr and Mrs Gnome were fed up with sitting in the garden. They heard the owners of the big house talking about a walk they were going on and they decided that this was an opportunity for adventure. So they went upstairs to the bedroom where they knew the back packs were stored and snuck inside. It was a big gamble – would they be found out?
Mrs Gnome was very nervous and kept saying to Mr Gnome ‘I am sure we will be found out and then we might be thrown away which would be terrible’. Mr Gnome said ‘Hush hush Missus, everything will be fine if you just stop nattering on’. So it went on until Sunday morning when the bags were taken out and packed with all sorts of things – rain coats, cameras, penkives and a picnic to eat on the way. ‘It’s happening’ said Mrs Gnome ‘We are going – I can’t believe it’.
‘Yes yes said Mr Gnome it is going to be a great adventure’.
As soon as they got to Bicton College Mr and Mrs Gnome escaped from the back pack and quickly found the first marker. Mrs Gnome was surprised how long the grass was and said ‘Mr Gnome this really is looking untidy I think you should cut the grass’.
He sighed and looked at her with that long suffering face which he had become used to ‘We are here for an adventure – its a holiday woman so let’s just enjoy it shall we?’ Mrs Gnome went all quiet and they decided to follow the arrow which had kindly been put out for the walkers so that they wouldn’t lose their way if they were rubbish at map reading.
They passed a lovely old church, still in silence as Mrs Gnome decided to exact maximum impact on Mr Gnome who was becoming very grumpy indeed.
By the time they reached the River Otter they were enthralled by the beauty of the scene before them. The river was full after all the rain the day before and looked like chocolate. ‘Oh’ said Mrs Gnome ‘I would love to throw off all my clothes and jump in’
‘Best not’ said Mr Gnome ‘Those ducks over there look bigger than you and might just gobble you up’. Mr Gnome was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea at all. This could all end in tears he thought.
‘Oh dear dear dear, these steps are so dirty’ said Mrs Gnome and started brushing furiously. ‘For goodness sake woman, why did you bring your broom’ said Mr Gnome incredulously ‘You really take the biscuit – we haven’t got time for this, look how high these steps are, we don’t have the time to clean them if we are to do all of this walk’
As they climbed the bridge they looked through the railings and saw the chocolate river. ‘Listen to the birds singing, isn’t it wonderful to hear them in the Spring’ said Mrs Gnome. ‘Hrrrrmpphhh’ said Mr Gnome.
‘Baby Rabbits’ shouted Mrs Gnome and the baby rabbits promptly rushed back into the hedgerow. ‘Typical’ said Mr Gnome.
Mrs Gnome grabbed Mr Gnome and took him into the hedgerow. ‘Oh the bluebells’ she said how romantic. ‘Cuddle me Mr Gnome I feel all loving’ Mr Gnome confessed to a slightly frisky feeling and squeezed her hand which made Mrs Gnome blush. ‘Best walk on’ said Mr Gnome ‘Times getting on’
The owner of the big house then walked by. He looked rather confused. He didn’t seem to know which way was up.
The lady from the big house then walked past soon after and looked equally confused. She seemed to be looking at the zig zag up hill path before her with trepidation. ‘It’s alright for her’ grumbled Mr Gnome ‘She’s got long legs and we only have little short ones.’
‘Don’t you like my legs then’ said Mrs Gnome. ‘Yes they are lovely dear – lets carry on we still have to do the long climb up High Peak and we will see how lovely you think your legs are by the time you have walked to the top’.
‘You are so mean to me’ said Mrs Gnome.
‘So here we are at the top of High Peak’ said Mr Gnome
‘I am not talking to you – my legs hurt’ said Mrs Gnome
For a while they just stood not looking at each other. After a while they realised that they did not know where they were and started looking for another sign.
‘This way’ said Mr Gnome ‘No this way’ said Mrs Gnome.
‘At last a sign – now we know the way again we must carry on Mrs Gnome’
And so they carried on walking through the wild wood. It was very frightening with dark corners and screeches from the high trees. Mr Gnome put his arm around Mrs Gnome ‘It will be fine dear – if we just keep moving we will be walking down hill soon where we can have some rest – you must be tired’.
Suddenly the edge of the wild wood passed and a wonderful view opened before them. It was like the fields were falling down red cliffs to the beach 100 feet below. The waves crashed onto the beach and sucked back making a rythmic sound as a million pebbles rolled back and forth. Mrs Gnome could not believe the beauty of the view and Mr Gnome allowed himself a little smile of pleasure as he drew on his pipe taking in the scene before him.
Atchoo Atchoo. Mr Gnome could not stop sneezing. ‘Well if you will stand there with a grass up your nose – what do you expect’ said Mrs Gnome.
As they crossed the road Mrs Gnome tripped and fell. A tractor came roaring down the road – ‘Help me, help me’ she cried.
Mr Gnome jumped onto the tractor. Quickly he applied the brakes and rushed down to see if Mrs Gnome was alright. He had not acted a moment too soon as Mrs Gnome lay there just inches from death. ‘Oh Mr Gnome you are my hero’ cried Mrs Gnome and kissed him full on the lips. Mr Gnome was more interested in all the vehicles he could see around him. Tractors and pick up trucks and a beautiful gleaming speedboat. ‘Come on Missus lets take a look – wouldn’t you love a boat like that?’
‘I suppose’ said Mrs Gnome in a sulky voice.
Mr Gnome knew as he stood on the speed boat that this was the life for him. ‘We are never going back’ he said. ‘It is so clean and white’ Mrs Gnome exclaimed. Mr Gnome was getting into his stride now and really quite excitededly he said ‘This is such an adventure and it is only the beginning for us – life will never be the same again’
Mr and Mrs Gnome stayed awhile on the big chair knowing that life had turned into something rather exciting.
They looked back over where they had travelled and knew that from now on life would be a beautiful thing.
Well that was until the Devon County Show two weeks later. You might have guessed it. Mrs Gnome saw this beautiful bijou residence. ‘Oh Mr Gnome its beautiful – just imagine settling down here. We could be happy here it is just right for us’.
‘Do you realise how expensive homes like that are these day’ said Mr Gnome. ‘They cost a fortune – around £5,000 on the current market, where are we going to get the money for it?’
‘We could get a mortgage’ implored Mrs Gnome.
‘A mortgage, a mortgage!’ he choked. ‘I am speechless – you know I never lend or borrrow anything’ he said.
Mrs Gnome grumbled for the rest of the show. ‘Its so perfect’ she muttered under her breath.
‘Well’ said Mr Gnome – I will think about it but I won’t promise anything’.